Why
Karin chose to adopt as single person
We would like to share with you the
wonderful story of Karin Hallin from Stockholm. Through our intercountry
adoptions Karin adopted a beautiful little girl named Maja.
To access the original article, published
in Sweden, please follow the link:
Karin Hallin, single and just over 40,
longed for children.
Maja, from South Africa, needed a mother.
The nearly four year journey towards
adoption was lined with hard decisions for Karin, but also by strong support of
family, friends and church.
One year old Maja is sleeping in her crib. Karin, Maja's
mother since four months ago, tip-toes through the apartment in the north of
Stockholm in order not to wake her.
In the kitchen , Maja's chair with bib, and the stacks of
CD’s with colourful covers on the table, makes it clear that this is no longer a
single person’s household.
“Maja loves music”, says Karin, as she pours the tea. It’s
been three months since Karin and Maja, accompanied by Karin’s father for
support, was greeted with hugs, flowers and stuffed animals by Maja’s new family
at Landvetter Airport.
Karin Hallin grew up in Gothenburg. She decided to become
a Christian in her teens and found its origin in the Mission Church in
Fiskebäck .
“I have never doubted if God thinks it is a good choice
to adopt as a single”, she says.
Over the last fifteen years of her life, her main focus in
life has been to work with international aid. She is currently with the
Christian Council of Sweden in Stockholm, but in the past worked and lived in different parts of
the world.
About herself and how the decision to adopt emerged, Karin
tells: “I have had some long-term relationships, but for various reasons, there
have never been children. In my thirties I realized that I still want to have
children, and I want it to be a conscious choice on my part if it is so, or not”.
How do you answer
those who say that a child needs two parents when you decided to adopt as a
single person?
Karin answers: “There are so many children who have no parents at
all, while I have the finances and ability to care for a child. When a single
person chooses to adopt, the social welfare board examines that the person has
a well-functioning network. My support from family, friends and colleagues regarding
adoption has been huge.
Sure, I've had friends who were worried that it will be a
struggle being a single parent, but everyone around me has been very supportive
and I have never felt that my decision has been questioned. When I brought Maja
to the church, we have been met with open arms.”
Maja wakes up and Karin brings her to the kitchen where
she sleepily cuddles in her mother's arms.
Karin tells how she has, in addition to taking the big
decision about adopting as a single person, also reflected on the difficult issues
surrounding intercountry adoptions. She was, firstly, concerned about the
high-profile cases where adoptions have gone wrong, and secondly the major
issues regarding unfair economic structures in the world resulting in people abandoning
their children. She comments, “For me it's important not to shield myself from
the issues, but at the same time I felt comfortable with the process of Maja’s
adoption. My consolation is that I am also in my profession working daily to
change unjust structures in the world”.
She kisses Maja , who has woken up properly and want a
clementine .
When the opportunity to adopt Maja came in June 2013, it
was after more than four years of the adoption process! Just a few countries
allow single persons to adopt, and therefore the process was extra long.
“Maja was extremely longed-for and the anticipation through
the years has been incredibly difficult”, says Karin.
But, when Karin tells how it was Maja - of all the adoptable children - who finally
was matched with her, she speaks of it as a miracle.
In South Africa , social services examines whether there
are parents or relatives who can take care of a baby that might be adoptable.
If not, finding South African adoptive parents are the next option. Only if there
is no one suitable in South Africa, intercountry adoption will become an
option.
Karin also filled in the application that she would
consider adopting a child with special needs.
Therefore, she was surprised when the Swedish Adoptionscentrum
contacted her with the news - on a Tuesday in June2013 – that she has become a mother
to a little healthy girl!
“After the announcement I cycled home wobbly, it was a
crazy feeling. Only nine days later, I would be in South Africa. And two days
after that, on Maja's first birthday, I got her”, says Karin.
The South African organization, Abba Adoptions that
handles adoptions to Sweden, has Christian values. After Karin and Maja’s introduction
to each other it was clear that they were instantly comfortable with each other
and a definite match. Karin was told Karin how the match between mother and
daughter came about: an Abba-social worker had read Karin’s profile and felt Maja
fitted with Karin, but, she turned away those thoughts because Karin was single
and also open to accept a child with special needs - there are not many people that
say yes to a child with disabilities.
The decision on which parent the child will get is done
in a meeting between staff from Abba, where several suggestions for parents are
discussed.
Karin tells, “In the meeting all felt strongly that Maja and
I belonged together after all, and they decided to pray about it. The next day,
they were in agreement: They felt that it was the Lord's leading that Maja
would be matched with me. When they told us, both me and my father, who was
with me started crying. Maja is a small miracle! How could I think otherwise?”.
Maja is clearly tired of sitting still in her mother's
arms. She wants to move, and on unsteady legs she runs out into the living
room.
